Miriam and I chatted today. As usual, she was a breath of fresh air in these lungs which long for warm summer breezes again. We were talking about Jesus' glory following the horrible cross- the humility and humanity. I mentioned Claire's analogy of spiritual gifts being delivered under the radar, like colorful wrapped presents delivered by us, the UPS guy dressed in brown. She paused with a, "There's that mention of brown associated with spiritual gifts again. It's a theme God uses to speak to me. You know my butterfly story, right?" No, I hadn't heard, but she obliged me. And now I'll oblige you.

Butterflies have always appealed to me. They draw me toward thinking
of God. I've always been most attracted to the Morphus butterfly
especially because of it's gorgeous bright blue coloring. The
amazing hue speaks to me of God's glory. Once when I was
shopping, I came across a Morphus butterfly enclosed in
glass. As I turned it over to examine the underside, I was
astonished. The bottomside of this flashing butterfly was
brown. It caused me to think of the glory of the resurrected Jesus in
the vibrant blue, and the suffering and humanity of Christ on the
brown side. Next, I thought of myself as having both sides as
well- the side where Christ shimmers and the brown underside which is the fallen
me.
Not long after, I spoke to an architect friend of mine about
the Morphus butterfly. He told me something which knocked me
for total loop. He explained that this butterfly had scales
overlapping which refracted the light in such a way that it caught the color
blue, but in actuality, the whole butterfly is really brown. Yes,
there is really nothing beautiful in me until Christ shines His light on me and
I reflect who He is back.

Miriam's story helped explain something to me which has bugged me for years.

I couldn't help but think back to a day myself when our liturgical dance choreographer told us to seek the Lord about the kind and color of garment of praise He had for each of us. I don't always come up with answers to this kind of question quickly. However,this time, I knew immediately. I spoke to my fellow dancers boldly, "Mine is brown. I see my color as hidden and muted."

The dancers tried to reassure me, "Brown? Honey, that's not right. You aren't allowing yourself to think of God's riches for yourself. The Lord has a beautiful green or blue or something bright for you." They were trying to be kind assuming I was being unkind to myself at some level.

On the other hand, I knew in my deepest heart of hearts, they were wrong, but I never knew exactly why. Today, I realized if I am in my best place of worship, it won't be me that those around me observe. It will be God's glory, and I will go unnoticed.